I'm running out of new titles for these posts....Update?

From my mom (after no less than three drafts...I've never been part of a blog that was so much work!) with some commentary by me:

We received the final pathology report on the lymph node biopsy and it confirmed no cancer there.  So this was very happy news.  I believe this indicates no need for the hair falling out type of chemotherapy. (We're all grateful for this, we have been trying to come up with a solution to the lack of eyebrow problem for weeks and all we came up with was for her to wear lots of really low hats).  I am recovering from surgery #2 pretty well. (Actually I think it should be called surgery #3 because the initial biopsy (not performed under general anesthesia was no party…))  I have to admit I felt pretty blue for a couple of days after this last surgery –I  hear this is a side effect of general anesthesia and I’m sure it is often exacerbated when the patient knows she has to turn around and do it again at least 4 more times this year at even higher doses.  

I had an epiphany Friday and I’ve decided that the perfect word to sum up what I have been through and what I have ahead is – indignity.  I feel so much better just having a name for it.  I’ll spare you all the details except to say:  needles (not in my arm –think along the lines of bamboo shoots), photos, and the hands-on opinion of countless medical strangers.

So I have been spending my last few months interviewing various neural surgeons, general surgeons, reconstructive surgeons and so forth.  I have checked references and done my homework on these people.  After careful consideration I chose a surgeon and scheduled my second surgery for last Wednesday.  Then I checked into the hospital and with basically no warning and no opportunity for homework, I signed my life away to some randomly assigned, but exceedingly important anesthesiologist that I had never even seen or heard of before.  On this occasion he was wearing some kind of gauze patch on his arm as if he is himself a patient undergoing chemotherapy.  I found myself thinking, “How is he doing?  Is he feeling okay at this moment, and what about in 20 minutes when I am at his mercy?”  Then he asks me the same question twice – “Does he realize it? Should I test him by giving a different answer?”  He proceeds to outline all of the chilling risks I’m taking in allowing him to knock me out.  I can feel my blood pressure rising and just as he is about to push the button (or whatever it is they do), he tells me I’m about to get the same stuff that killed Michael Jackson.  I open my mouth to request some anti-anxiety meds but that is the last thing I remember.  Who will I get next time?  Luck of the draw and somehow I’m not feeling particularly lucky these days…. 

I do not mean to disparage anesthesiologists, “the unsung heroes”.  I’m just commenting on one more way in which I am being forced to give up control.  I think that must be one of the many things I’m supposed to learn here: how to completely lose control of my circumstances and just go with it.  I think I can do it, but I’m going to need help…and possibly some medication…got to get some pep back!

As an antidote to stress I am working on the following books:

• Surgery Patient 101
• Extreme Measures for Getting Attention
• The New Frequent Hospital Stay Rewards Program: Earn a free mammogram or colonoscopy!
• How to Find Your Own Brain Tumor in Three Easy Steps
• You Too Can Up the Insurance Rates for Your Company of 400 Employees in Just 5 Surgeries, or How to Really Tick Off Your Insurance Company In 6 Months or Less.

I can just picture the insurance company coming to Control4 next year and telling them they seriously need to get rid of whatever employee is claiming Lisa West.    
My next surgery (part D of problem #1 - see first post below) is scheduled for March 16th. At this time they will be removing the rest of the cancer and reconstructing any cosmetic damage.   I need to hone in on the details a bit more, but at this point I know I will be staying in the hospital for 3-5 days and that I will be pretty under the weather for a couple of weeks following the surgery.  I know I will need a lot of help with things during that time.  It is such a comfort knowing we are surrounded by people who love us and are there to help when we need it.  Thank you for all the prayers, fasting and positive thoughts.  It is a hard time, but I definitely feel strengthened.

Lisa